How to Support Children With Special Needs

Tips for parents and other family members facing unique challenges

Children should be exposed to other kids from all walks of life to give them a wider perspective.

“Accept your children’s condition as a blessing. Find its purpose. Be grateful for the gift of life.”

Editor’s Note: This is a supplement to the article titled, “What It’s Like to Be a Person With Disabilities.”

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It is difficult for parents to have a child with special needs. Initial reactions resulting from negative or unpleasant feelings are normal. However, these are not helpful to children with disabilities who are at the receiving end of these responses, especially if the parental frustration is directed at their offspring’s condition.

It is often necessary for carers to educate themselves on the unique requirements of kids with special needs.

You, as a parent, family member, or guardian, can turn these difficulties into advantages or strengths. As an educator of special needs children and my personal experience as a person with a disability (PWD), I know firsthand what it is like to be on the opposite side of the fence.

So I recommend these tips to help parents meet their offsprings’ requirements and communicate better with them:

• If you think your children are different from what is considered “normal,” have a medical and/or educational professional conduct an early detection test, diagnosis, and assessment.

Specialists are trained to relay their diagnosis in a gentle and empathetic manner that assures parents there is hope. So there is no reason to delay receiving test results because you are worried about the outcome. It’s better to know early if there’s something wrong than find out when the situation has become dire.

• After the diagnosis, take your children to a specialist, physician, counselor, or child psychologist for treatment depending on their condition.

Consult professionals for testing and diagnoses.

• Talk to your partner, your other children, relatives, and other caregivers to discuss how you will proceed with the treatment of their condition and which mode of care is best.
  

• Be hands-on parents in the care of your children with challenges. Monitor and be aware of their developments.

• Research the condition of your children to better understand their situation.
  

• Learn the language of your children for better communication.
  

• Join a support group for parents with special needs offspring for education, counseling, guidance, and more information.
  

• Choose a special school that can best manage your children’s condition.
  

• Provide your children with materials appropriate for their conditions and ages.
  

• Hone and enhance your children’s talents, skills, creativity, intelligence, and potential. Encourage their interests. This may be expressed in sports, the performing arts, the literary arts, the culinary arts, crafts, academic prowess, or other activities suitable to their conditions. Healthy competition also develops their sportsmanship.

With some kids, you have to be literal with your words of encouragement.

• Provide them with other needs that would make their lives more comfortable.
  

• Show them you are proud of their accomplishments. With some children, you have to express this in a conspicuous way, so there is no doubt about your approval.
  

• For example, shower your children with praises, words of affirmation, rewards, and lots of affection whenever they achieve something. This will give them a positive self-image and healthy self-esteem.
  

• Be present in all their activities. Giving them support, assurance, appreciation, and importance boosts their self-confidence.
  

• Assist them in their homework and school projects. Teach them for further learning.
  

• Motivate your children to be the best they can be and have confidence in what they can do.
  

• Teach your children to be independent, assertive, and self-reliant. These qualities, coupled with values and skills needed to survive in the real world, will help them flourish in life despite their disability.
  

When your children are self-reliant, they will flourish despite their disability.

• Accept your children’s condition as a blessing. Find its purpose. Be grateful for the gift of life.
  

• Never be ashamed of your children’s condition because they will feel your negative vibe. Never focus on their disability. Instead, be proud of their achievements and what they can do.
  

• Never let them feel rejected, insulted, humiliated, or alienated. Never call them names.
  

• Defend and protect your children from people who insult them or have bad intentions toward them. This will make them feel safe and secure.
  

• Listen to your children’s opinions, comments, problems, and even to what they are not saying. This fosters openness, trust, and respect.
  

• Quality time spent with your children will be a learning experience for them and create beautiful, unforgettable memories. Bond with your children in and out of the home. Take them to malls, groceries, museums, places of worship, historical monuments, parks, zoos, health centers, and sports clinics.
  

Activities like sewing and playing with pets lend a bigger dimension to kids’ lives.

Go shopping, go camping (or other outdoor activities), travel, eat out, watch movies, attend theater performances, organize/attend parties, visit relatives and friends.

At home, bake, cook, paint/draw, make crafts (like scrapbooking and sewing), dance, sing, play musical instruments/games, and watch educational TV shows together. Share stories and laughter with each other.

• Be objective and discipline them in a firm, but gentle and kind manner. Talk to them on a level they understand.
  

• Train them to do household chores or simple helpful activities. Encourage them to be productive.
  

• Be sensitive to their needs, feelings, and situations. Discern if they are unhappy, discontented, or not feeling well. Take extra care of them when they get sick.

Special needs children require your discernment especially when sick.

• Expose them to people with the same condition, those with other disabilities, and non-disabled children. This will teach them to socialize and accept differences.
  

• Be hopeful that their condition will improve and they will live life to the fullest. Set goals for them.
  

• Treat them the same way as non-disabled children while being aware of their limitations.
  

• Be honest with them so that they will learn how to trust.
  

• Be patient and forgiving to your children when they commit mistakes. At the same time, also ask for their forgiveness when you hurt them.
  

• Allow your children to have pets and plants, so they learn about love, kindness, and caring for other living things.

Having pets around teaches kids how to care for other living creatures.

• Be the best example to them.
  

• The love, care, concern, respect, assurance, support, patience, understanding, trust, hope, protection, motivation, encouragement, pride, other values, and quality time you extend to your children will be manifested in wondrous ways in their relationships with others while they transition into adulthood. This will also build good character and right conduct. The utmost care and the best positive treatment you give them today will be rewarded tomorrow.

Lift up your children to God, pray, and have faith. Inculcate in them the same faith and love for God (or the equivalent in your practice).

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About the Author:

GMBF is a special needs educator, counselor, psychologist, and freelance tutor. Her educational qualifications include the following:

• Bachelor of Science in Psychology

• Masteral units in Clinical Psychology

• Master of Arts in Special Education
  

Photo Credits:

• Kids playing ball: Robert Collins

• Person with Asperger’s syndrome: Nathan Anderson

• Therapy session: SHVETS production

• “You can do anything” cartoon: Natalia Lavrinenko

• Motivation: Brigitte of Art Tower

• Kid with cat and sewing machine: Mystic Art Design

• Kids in the hospital: National Cancer Institute (Creative Commons license)

• Baby and pup: Sarah Richter

• Avatar: GraphicMama team